Inside of everyone of us is that tiny seed of the “you” that you were meant to become. Unfortunately, you may have buried this seed in response to your parents, teachers, coaches, and other adult role models as you were growing up.
Things that get in the way of what you want.
You started out as a baby knowing exactly what you wanted, you knew when you are hungry, you spit out the foods you didn’t like and avidly devoured the ones you did. You had no trouble expressing your needs and wants. You simply cried loudly with inhibitions or holding back until you get fed, changed, held, and rocked. As you get older, you crawled around and moved towards whatever held the most interest for you. You were clear about what you wanted, and you headed straight towards it with no fear.
Then somewhere along the way some one said, Don’t touch that, eat everything on your plate whether you like it or not, stop crying, don’t be such a baby, you should be ashamed of yourself. After many years of those kinds of sanctions, most of us eventually lost touch with the need of our bodies and the desires of our hearts and somehow got stuck trying to figure out what other people wanted us to do. We learned how to act and how to be to get their approval. As a result, we now do a lot of things we don’t want to do but that please a lot of other people.
We go to medical school because dad said so, we get married to please our mother, we get real jobs instead of pursuing our dream career in arts. In the name of being sensible, we end up becoming numb to our own desires, its no wonder that when we ask many teenagers what they want do or to be they honestly answer, “I don’t know” There are too many layers of “should’s” pilled on top of and suffocating what you really want.
Stop settling for less than you want
The only way to reclaim yourself and your true desires and get back to what you really want with no fear, shame, or inhibition and get connected to your real passion is by honoring your preferences in every situation no matter how small or large. Don’t think of them as petty, they might be inconsequential to someone else, but they are not to you.
Stop settling for less than you want, if you are going to reown your power and get what you really want out of life you will have to stop saying, “I don’t know; I don’t care; it doesn’t matter to me” or the current favorite of teenagers, “whatever.” When you are confronted with a choice, no matter how small or significant, act as if you have a preference.
Ask yourself, if I did know, what would it be? If I did care, which would I prefer? If it did matter, what would I rather do? Not being clear about what you want and making other people’s needs and desires more important than your own is simply a habit. You can break it by practicing the opposite habit.